Dear Diary ......

Dear Diary,
I'm so confused! Hi, it's me again. I'm writing this time because I am so confused. I mean, Is SL real? Or is it just a game?

I have many SL friends who say SL is very real, just a different part of their life. And so they talk on voice all the time, some skype, web cam, call on the phone and some even meet in RL. They talk about their RL and families, RL/SL work, etc., and socialize in SL like it is real. Some do RL fundraising in SL, bring in their RL art or some skill or job. Some work in SL and earn RL income from SL. Well, ok, I get all that, but then when so many people turn right around and do so many things they would never do in RL is that just like role play? I mean there are role play sims in SL where one can dress up different, act out in ways, but I'm not talking about that. And those places have rules, so you kind of know what is allowed or not and where you stand. But what I am talking about, as just one common example, is like when people get partnered or married even in SL, and they are truly in love with their significant other, and talk and act like a RL couple, communicate daily even about RL stuff. But then when their partner is offline they might end up with multiple other people and excuse it saying, "it's just pixels"... is that "just a game" then? That is confusing to me. So if NO ONE one cares then it's ok? But it seems in the end someone does care.. then it's real again, and look out drama. I guess all that can and does happen in RL too. But it's too easy in SL to behave different and get away with it justifying it by calling it a game when it's convenient. Well I also have friends who play SL as recreation only and don't want to talk about RL or voice or anything so as not to ruin their fantasy game world. I've found it seems the longer a person plays the more they seem to be ok with playing it "real", but also seem to be better able to have one foot in SL and one foot out, meaning they could walk away from individual dramatic situations, people or places in SL if needed to avoid drama without much trouble, although many have developed some long term real freindships.

Once I was called nosey and smothering.. ugghh... hard to believe because I move around so much, but I know exactly what was meant. I choose to call it curious and caring. I have to admit that when people get a little too clingy with me I am usually the first to run, so I understand the smothering part, but also know where it comes from. As for nosey or curious, well that is a given part of SL because again there are so many non-realities even when a person plays for "real". Secrets are kept, games are played, etc. And we can't really know most things to check it out, like we can in RL. There is also the issue of misunderstood words too when there is no face to face/eye to eye contact or real body language to read, especially when it's only typed narriative. But that is a whole other issue. Then there are the people married in RL playing single in SL, and not letting their RL spouse know what is going on with them in SL. So is it a game? Is it for real? It feels like both to me. I am very sure SL feelings will contiue to confuse me forever.

So then does anything really matter that much? I guess not, becuase it's "just a game".. whoops wait, no it's not, or is it? Maybe all the mystery is part of the fun or challenge of getting to know the score .. or maybe not? Well, Dear Diary, I'm not sure. I'm so confused!

Signing off, Kara